Cooper's story

Cooper Thomas was born November 7th and I want to record his birth story. About a month or so before he was due, I told mark I wanted to try and go as long as I could this time before I got an epidural. For a few reasons, but the main one was because I wanted the shortest labor possible and Evans labor was longer because I got an epidural, which was fine but it was all night long and I just didn't want to do that again if possible. But I knew there was no way I could do it if he didn't help me. Also, the hospital I was going to be birthing at had tubs you could get in during labor which I wanted to try. They also offered water birth...which wasn't what I planned to do, but once I got in, it all happened pretty fast and there was no way I was moving. So anyways, the story...I'll begin on November 5th...five days before his due date. My mom was flying in that night, we had a normal day and before we went to pick her up we went to the grocery store to stock up on some things and then to the twisted cup for frozen yogurt to use Halloween treat money. Little did I know that would be our last outing as a family of four. We got back from the yogurt place and I finished up some cleaning before it was time to leave to pick my mom up. She was getting in late but we let the boys stay up to pick her up so Emmory, Evan and I headed out to the airport. We picked her up, came home, Emmory and Evan showed her around the new house, and then they went to bed. My mom and I stayed up talking downstairs for a while, then I decided I'd better head to bed since it was pretty late. I slept all night, and was woken the next morning around 6:45 to Evan at the side of my bed saying he had to go potty. I got up and took him to the bathroom, I sat down on the big toilet to wait while he went on his froggy potty. When he was done I sat up to wipe him, and as I sat up I felt a gush of fluid come out of me. I stopped for a second and thought, did I just pee in my pants? Or did my water just break? I honestly wasn't sure at first. I took Evan back to bed with me and had some more gushes. Surely this must be my water, right? I laid down with Evan for a few minutes, then got up to go to the bathroom. Mark was in the shower so I told him "either I keep peeing my pants or my water has broken". After some more walking around I was sure it was my water. I tried to cuddle with Evan some more knowing this would be my last chance for a while, but then Emmory woke up and they both went in the playroom to play. At some point I went in and told them their brother was probably going to be born that day. Then we went downstairs and I got them their milk and snack and turned on a show for them to watch. I got something to eat, thinking I needed to eat because the contractions would start any minute. What happened after that is totally blurry...but what didn't happen is contractions. I remember at some point the boys woke my Mom up, I told her what was going on, Mark didn't go into work, I went on a few walks outside by myself, at some point Marks mom came over and she and my mom took the boys to her house to get them out of the house. I would have a few contractions close together, get hopeful, and then nothing else would happen. I tried walking, I tried relaxing, took a few showers and soaked in the tub, laid on the bed and listened to a sermon, went for another walk with mark, watched The Office on netflix with mark, bouncing on the birthing ball....nothing seemed to get the contractions going. It was very frustrating because I really wanted to go into labor that day and not have an all nighter like with Evan and Emmorys births. Just when I would start having some contractions and get excited, they would stop. Mark went out to get some dinner for us and brought it back. We ate together. The midwife called to check on me. She told me to continue to hang out at home but if nothing started happening at the 18 hour mark they would have me come in to start augmentation. I really wanted to start labor on my own before then. Then, finally, things started to happen. Sometime around 7pm I was having contractions and they were regular enough to start timing. I had been drinking a lot of water to make sure I was hydrated which caused me to have to pee a lot, and for some reason sitting on the toilet really made me have a contraction. Mark was watching the office again downstairs and I would bounce on the birthing ball, get up, go to the bathroom, have a contraction, and then come back and repeat. This lasted for possibly an hour. The strange thing was, the contractions wouldn't come unless I did that. If I just sat down and didn't move, they wouldn't come. But when I was up moving they would and they were definitely painful. We debated about when to go to the hospital...I called the midwife to give her a heads up that contractions had started, she encouraged me to not wear myself out by constantly moving to keep the contractions up. At this point we were upstairs in our bedroom. I laid on the bed for a little while, and
 shortly after the contractions started coming regardless of whether I was moving or not. Emmory and Evan were going to be coming back to our house with my mom to go to bed soon...so we decided we would leave for the hospital as soon as they got back because Mark wanted to see them and put them to bed. They were supposed to arrive around 9.  I started to be in a lot more pain, but the weirdest thing that happened was that I was in pain between contractions as well. I have no idea why that was, but that's when things started to get intense. I went to the bathroom, continued to be in pain, then had a big surge of water (which had been very slowly leaking throughout the day) and the pain got even worse. Mark immediately loaded up the car without me even having to say anything, it was a super intense few minutes before we left it was really painful for me to walk even between contractions and I honestly for a moment wondered if we had waited too long to leave. We were off to the hospital, and thankfully sitting in the car gave me some relief from the pain I was experiencing (the non-contraction pain). We got to the hospital and I tried to walk in but it was too hard it hurt too much. Mark got me a wheelchair and when we got to the delivery floor our midwife was walking by as soon as the elevator opened. We went to check in and I had to fill out some forms which was very hard. Then I was able to go right to a room and skip triage because my water had broken so they were admitting me no matter what. Mark wheeled me to the room and they had me sit on the bed to check the baby's heart rate. It hurt so bad for me to even get out of the wheelchair and onto the bed. They made me stay on the bed for twenty minutes so they could get the stress test on the baby and make sure he was doing well. It was an excruciating 20 minutes just having to lay on the bed and I continued to be in pain even between contractions...I couldn't relax. I remember being asked questions and barely being able to answer...being annoyed at anyone talking to me. Finally it was over, and the tub was ready for me to get in. The midwife checked me and I was 6-7 cm dilated. I went to the bathroom and then got right in the tub. I remember hearing the tub described as a "liquid epidural". Well I think the person who said that has never had an epidural because it was not comparable at all. I didn't expect it to be...I mean with an epidural you feel nothing if it's done right. The water was so much better however because once I got in I didn't have that pain in between contractions that I was having. I was able to completely relax in between. I was laying on my side hanging on to the side of the tub, when a contraction would come I would reach out for marks hand and breathe deeply and stare at the ceiling. I think mark was playing some music for me but I don't remember really hearing it. I was completely unaware of anything else that was going on...whether the midwife or nurse were in the room, whether anyone was talking or not. The contractions got so intense that they took my breath away and made me feel like I would throw up. After being in the tub for a while (no idea how long I was also unaware of time) the midwife came and told me I should move to a different position. I was disgruntled at that suggestion I didn't want to move at all. I didn't at first but then mark encouraged me to so I did. I remember at the very end of a contraction my body would kind of feel like it wanted to push. I didn't say anything because I thought there was no way I was actually to the pushing stage...but after a while it was so pronounced and I couldn't help it, my body was really wanting to push and I couldn't fight it. I told mark so he could get the midwife because I was unsure of whether it was okay to be pushing or not. The midwife had left I later found out because she thought mark and I were doing so well together and she felt like she was just sitting there staring at us and didn't want to be in the way. Mark called her in and she told me it was fine to push to just do what my body was telling me. The pushing stage I can only describe as intense. The first half of the contraction was still painful but then the second part when I would push was better because I felt like I could push away the pain. The urge to push was a crazy feeling it was so strong and all I could do was surrender to it. I know I made all sorts of crazy noises that I never thought I would make. At this point I was on my knees leaning over the tub. This is also the point that mark claims I hit him twice although I have no recollection of that. Not out of anger but a reaction to the pain I guess. I do think I remember hitting the side of the pool. It was super intense. After a little bit of pushing the midwife checked the heartbeat with the Doppler and his heart rate dipped a little bit. She had me change positions to see if that helped so I turned around and sat in the tub, and mark put his arms under my armpits to support me. That did help his heart rate was fine after that, thankfully. I continued to push until I could feel his head between my legs. That was the strangest thing, having his head there especially when it got to the point where it would stay there between contractions. All I could see was all this dark hair. I was really starting to get worn out, the pushing was hard work and I was getting short of breath each time. I was so eager for it to all be over...I don't know how some women push for an hour or more because I was exhausted after only about 20-30 minutes.  Finally, after having the midwife guide me on the last few pushes of when to stop and start to minimize tearing, he came out and the midwife handed him right to me. That was the most incredible moment. The relief of it being over and then having this tiny baby in my arms, it was pretty amazing. I never thought I wanted to hold my baby the second he was born, but the bonus of a water birth is that he was completely clean when she gave him to me because of the water. He also did not cry. He looked normal but I asked the midwife if he was okay since he wasn't making a sound. She said he was fine. He finally started to make a little noise but he never cried. Emmory and Evan both came out screaming so that was a first for us. I got to hold him for a while and then mark cut his cord and they helped me out of the tub to deliver the placenta on the bed. I got wrapped in blankets and they put him back on my chest. Next came some not so fun stuff. One huge advantage of having an epidural is being numb afterwards. After the placenta was delivered the midwife had to keep pushing on me to help stop the bleeding. She said if they don't routinely give pitocin they have to do that (which apparently they don't). I was thinking, please give me pitocin I'd much rather have that than you doing this. They did end up giving me a shot of pitocin because I guess I was bleeding a little more than she liked. There was still more pressing on my uterus, and then she had to stitch me. Thankfully I only had one tiny tear this time and almost didn't need stitches, but I ended up needing one. I could also feel that. They gave me a shot to try and numb the area but it really didn't help. I remember thinking, please just leave me alone I already went through all this pain I want to be done. Finally after what seemed like forever they were done with me, and I got to have a drink, nurse Cooper, and then move to the room we would be staying in. Since he was born at 12:21am it was nighttime when we got to the room. We tried to get some rest and Cooper slept a lot but I wasn't able to sleep much because of the cramping pain I was having. We had a good stay in the hospital and decided to go home early, Mark was staying in the room with me but the sleeping situation for him was extremely small and uncomfortable, and it's always just more comfortable to be home in your own bed.
So that is the story of the birth of Cooper. Very different from the other two, and I'm so thankful for the gift of another healthy baby boy.