My thinker

Emmory is a thinker. He seems to have a brain that works a lot like mine...he analyzes, over-thinks and has to understand how everything works. This makes for some very interesting questions. He is constantly stumping me with the things he asks. It also makes for some very hard questions. He has already asked several hard questions about God. There have already been times where I want to lie to him. I see the temptation to just tell your kid, don't worry, you are going to heaven, nothing bad is going to happen to any of us, etc etc. But I can't. Even though its hard and its only going to get harder...I want him to worry. I want him to fear. Because life separated from God is real. And even if I make him feel good and think that isn't going to happen so that he doesn't lay in bed at night scared, that isn't going to change reality. And I want him to fear life separated from God. I don't want him to think he is going to heaven and that God has changed his heart. The Bible says it isn't the one who is well who needs a physician, but the one who is sick. I want my boys to know they are sick. No matter how hard it might be and how scared it might make them (or me). During a sermon my pastor preached a while ago, he was talking about teaching the doctrine of election to his kids. And he basically said he wants to teach that to them right away and not shy away from it because he wants to drive the fear of God into their hearts with the reality that they might not be elect. I think about that a lot. Whenever I am tempted to shy away from the truth with Emmory because I'm scared of how it will affect him, I remember that.
So, back to the questions. Last night as I was putting Emmory to bed, he asked some more hard ones. First we talked about David and Goliath. He asked why God wanted David to kill Goliath. Then after I answered he asked why God didn't show Goliath that He was good. (Basically, why didn't God reveal himself to Goliath) Then he wanted to talk about Daniel and the lions den and asked why God closed the lions mouths. That one was an easy one. Then, he goes on to ask questions of theodicy. Really?! A 3 year old asking that. I am continually surprised by him. He asks about fires and why God allows them to happen, what Gods role is in them, and other things like that.
I am seeing why I have to be continually renewing my mind with Scripture and why it's so important for the word of Christ to dwell in me richly. I have to be ready to give an answer for the hope that lies within me. It takes preparation. It takes all those quiet moments of discipline when you sit down and read your Bible. And lots of prayer for wisdom. It is so good for me. It's good for me to have to answer these questions and its good for me to see what I don't know. I often think I don't have a lot of opportunities for evangelism and giving an answer because I am at home so much of the time. But another thing my pastor has taught me is that if you have kids, that is your number one opportunity for evangelism and sharing the gospel. It is built in. I have these two boys who at this point in their lives think the world of me and are looking to me for the answers. What an incredible opportunity, but also a humbling one.